Thursday, November 4, 2010


I started journaling when I was six years old. Back then, the compositions were short and sweet. Something like... "It's hot. My brothers are mean to me. I wish it were not hot. "
As time went on, the entries became longer, more dramatic, and full of whimsical charm. During my "innocent and sweet" years, (jr high-ish) I was particularly interested in a journal to my future husband. Now that I have a husband, I decided to give him my journal for his sentimental enjoyment and (I admit it) hilarious amusement.

While I was out of town a couple weeks ago, Brent decided to read my gift to him before he went to bed. He told me about a few entries. "We were meant to be, b!" (he calls me "b"). "Why do you say that?" I asked him. He told me about a certain entry I had made at 14 yrs old. Something about how much I loved fall and winter best (out of all the seasons), and how it must be because I was born in the winter. I went on from there to say I wanted my future hubby to be born in January. "I just think that would be perfect." I didn't believe my ears! Me, like winter? What's to like? Want my hubby to be born in January? Seriously! Well, Brent's birthday (as you might have guessed) is January 15th. As I thought back to those whimsical, naive years, I can't help but wonder if God was not completely in love with my pure faith and hope. Before I realized that prince charming was not real. Before, "reality" sunk in about boys.... He knew and answered a silly little hope of an 8th grade girl. Even though I couldn't care less when my husband was born now... it mattered to Jesus that 14 yr old Bethany Kathleen Zull, wanted a winter man. I may have grown up quite a bit since then. I may have gotten quite cynical.... but...
looking back (reading back) on my child-like faith. It gives me hope. It send shivers up my spine, actually. God really really cares, about the big and the little things. Be blessed, have hope, love, and know your are loved. Journal, pray, thank the Lord for your man or woman. God actually listens to our inmost thoughts. Your wish might actually come true :) Gasp!