I'm tired of getting sick every month. For those of you who read this semi regularly. It's about time I updated.
For a few years, several years ago, I went through a "martyr kick". I read about martyrs, bought Foxe's book of Martyrs, got the magazine, a weekly e-newsletter, and dreamt about being a martyr someday. Sometimes I would lament during a particular illness "I'm such a baby now, how will I ever stand up in the face of persecutors wanting to destroy me?" It may sound funny, but such was my passion.
My body has not been functioning at peak capacity since I said "I Do", or since we moved into this duplex, ( I don't know which one). If there is a germ to be nurtured and multiplied, I will be the one to do it. I used to get sick once or twice a yr. Don't believe me? Well neither does my new doctor. He told me. "I'm a firm believer in "An Apple a Day..." " Well," I said, "I eat tons of fruits and veggies and it hasn't seemed to keep you away yet." (yes, we are getting the duct work completely cleaned out and the house has been tested for mold).
Praise to the Lord the almighty who gives and takes away. The only God our Savior, who "does not owe us anything" (c.a.Zull) (borrowing that one from Crystal).
How can we say to our maker.."Why did you make me this way? " We are the clay.... let's be mushable! He knows how to make us into a vessel usable for him. Let's let him.
Martyrdom always seemed glorious to me. The highest calling possible. There are some that would disagree. I'm still not sure what I think. I do know that even though I would love to functioning normally again, I am thankful for so many things.
- Jesus is good and will remain good despite me or how many times I get sick.
- He has given me a wonderful husband. I could not have asked for better.
- I will heal and learn of his goodness in the meantime.
- even when I don't believe Him, He is still trustworthy.
- If feeling under the weather, gets me on my knees, bring it on.
- If it will induce more people to pray for me and my ministry... ok!