The ISI "Scoop"

Cooking Thai food that was amazing with my friends!

I would like to dedicate this entry to my friend Lisa Wilkison, who is very interested in hearing the "scoop" of how I finally decided to join ISI (for new comers, that's International Students Inc.).

If there is one thing in my life that I should have learned by now, its would be to" never say never". In high school I vehemently declared I would NEVER like math or science... I am a Dietitian and love science and get along great with algebra. After college I had a frustrating experience in a country called Ukraine, I said I would NEVER go back. Where did I go this summer again? oh, yeah... Ukraine. Just in the past year, my dad mentioned the possibility of me going on staff with ISI, to which I was set against and even declared I was not interested. I was going "overseas". I had big plans and aspirations to save the nutritionally underprivileged and to share the good news with them while I'm helping them nutritionally. I wanted the fun and adventure of immersing myself into another culture, learning another language, and adopting the native customs. So my plans were made... and I followed them.

I got a part time job so I would have some income and something to do while I was looking for ... well, something to do... for a long time, full time, for Jesus. I talked with several missions agencies, each one promising from the start, but lacking key ingredients for "Bethany's Perfect Job Mix". I wanted a team, a personal connection with the organization, and couldn't decide where to go; I love the world. I was in desperate need of international culture (i live in a corn field in Indiana). I started volunteering teaching English to mostly spouses of international students. I loved it. I also signed up to be a friend to an international student from Thailand. Through her I have met other students. I was able to use my nutrition education to help a woman who just had a baby. I enjoyed all of this, but still wasn't getting it. I was getting agitated. Why wasn't God moving? Let's back up a bit...

Back in Ukraine this past Summer, God was trying to teach me something. It was only one simple verse, Psalm 46:10 "Cease your striving and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the heavens, I will be exalted in all the earth". I have a hard time being still. But the most important part of that verse, was that God does not need me! He does fine without me actually. God gave me a picture in my head of my parents farm as that verse played over and over in my head. I knew He wanted me at home for a while, but I didn't realize how hard it was going to be to "let God be God". I never let Him choose His perfect plan. I had my plans and they must be God's because why else would God give me these desires if not to fulfill them? hmm... (if this thought progression sounds familiar, it's ok.. your not weird). Lets go back to the main story line.

So, here I was, my independent nature flaring up in anger at my poor family. I finally decided, in October, to do something different and go to an ISI retreat in Ashville, N.C. with my Dad. I wanted to talk to those on staff to get a better idea how they made their decision regarding ministry. I still was not immensely fond of the idea of staying in the country. While at the retreat I met some great people who had a lot of great thoughts and ideas for me... all of which included recruiting me to ISI. Typical! Now what? In my personal prayers God revealed to me my fear of failure. My fear that He would not use me unless I used my degree in ministry and that right away. A fear that I would be wasting my degree and my 5 lovely years in school. He told me I was believing lies. I began the slow process of thinking about thinking about joining ISI. A light began to glimmer and grow steadily brighter. I would be getting paid to hang out with internationals from everywhere around the world, tell them about Jesus, lead Bible studies, teach them how to be healthy in America, teach them about American culture, teach ESL, give them rides, eat their yummy food, help them with any kind of acclamation to life here, .... sounds Amazing! I don't have to pick one area of the world. God will pick lots of countries for me. It really seemed too easy. I started second guessing. I suppose I still will at times. I am in the application process and covet your prayers!

oh, and one more thing. Part of the Campus Staff Job is visiting former students who have gone back to their country. God is Good. Need I say more? (Lisa, I hope this is enough detail for you).

Thanks

Thanksgiving was a time of family, friends, food, and more food. I am very thankful for all four! My sister Anna brought 2 friends home with her this year, Daniele and Daniela. We also had fun with Our Taiwanese and Chinese friends that helped us celebrate. Pictured above are my nieces, Mireil and Adaline playing with Daniele and Lance. Daniela had never seen snow before (she's from Columbia), so she had a great time with the first snow. It was hilarious to watch her take pictures of everything and try to make a "snowdoll" (her version of a snowman).

The day after T-Day marked the beginning of the Christmas tree season, with much wreath making and tree cutting. Gabe, my nephew, armed to the teeth with a saw is helping Grandpa and his dad cut up a tree for wreath greenery. Just don't let him carry the saw around the house. He might take after his Uncle and start cutting up random objects, scary!

Adaline and Mireil have big gloves on so they can help Grandma pick holly for the wreaths. They love helping on the Farm. This year I am helping to organize a Christmas party for International Students on December 14th. Its usually a great time to show them the traditional activities that surround the holiday, like decorating cookies, trees and wreaths, or even making gingerbread houses. We also share the origins of the Christmas story with them. We already have several signed up to come.

I am so thankful for the many learning processes that God has brought me through. (I can't believe I said that). As many of you know I am applying to work with ISI(International Students Inc). I just sent in my application and am awaiting the next step. I keep asking God to prepare my way, and that I will be obedient to His words with a willing and excited heart. I have begun to build a ministry at Purdue, but it could be that He wants me elsewhere. Please join me in prayer for continued guidance. Thanks so much!!

Fall Beauty

Fall has never been my favourite season because it has always symbolized death and dying right before winter. This fall has been different. I feel like I have had time to appreciate the colors, smells, and the events that bring people together. These two beautiful ladies above are friends that I have had the privilege of getting to know through Purdue and International Center programs. Pinthip (in purple) is from Thailand and in the Ph.D. Food Science program at Purdue. Laleh (her lab partner) is from Iran and sometimes attends my English conversation class. They are both kind and generous women. I am praying for them both and will invite them to my house for Thanksgiving.

Last weekend I took them to a bonfire/cookout hosted by a local West Lafayette church. It was held out in the woods by a creek. The fall colors were gorgeous and we all got to meet other International Students and their host families. Laleh got to experience S'mores for the first time. Its fun to watch people have fun with something as simple as toasting a marshmallow. I am praying about joining ISI, the organization my dad has been with since I was 11 yrs old. I love Int'l students and its such a great opportunity to reach out to them in our back yard while they are here studying. Pray with me for the people from all over the world that come to Purdue to study.

I am not a Country Bumpkin.

Despite what many of you may think since I moved to "Waynetown" Indiana/the middle of nowhere, I am not a country Bumpkin. I have tried to get into the farming way of life with gardening and digging trees with this painful contraption called, "the tree toad". I have tried to delight myself in the wonder of creation, so much so that I forget the future High fructose corn syrup fields surrounding me, or the smell of manure. It is beautiful, don't get me wrong. But my soul craves culture of another kind. Even just the simple international venues in Lafayette. I regularly see people from other cultures and am cultivating friendships with several of them. Even just the fact I can get sushi and Thai food there, instead of the local bar's special, "Rocky Mountain Oysters". I am pretty gutsy when it comes to trying new foods, but bulls testicles just don't even tempt me... call me crazy.

I enjoy the fresh fruits and veggies tremendously! I am very thankful for my parents willingness to take me in during this time of transition, but maybe it would be best just to visit. I knew the hardest part about the whole transition would be living here, w/ my family. I knew this.... and yet here I am, asking for it. God is preparing me for something unique and different. I wish He would hurry up and tell me. He is often not in the all fire hurry that I am. I want to learn so I can move on... literally! I feel like I have no purpose here. Ok, this has turned into a whining session. I'm sorry, I'm done.

Desert Full of Grain

Why are you hungry in a desert full of grain?
Why are you thirsty in the rain?
Be still and Know,
that I am God
Be still and Know,
that I am the Lord.
I will be exalted.
I will be high and lifted up.
No matter what you do,
no matter what you don't do,
I will be All, and that's all you need.

Your cup is running over,
your plate is piled high.
Look at my words and you will see
my fingers in your life.
Why are you hungry,
and why do you thirst?
Can't you see,
or are you blind?
Can't you hear, feel, and know,
know the truth?

Why are you hungry in a desert full of grain?
Why are you thirsty in the rain?
Be still!

A Step Back?

I just got a job last week working in a local coffee shop in Lafayette, IN. This job is the first job I have really enjoyed since working at the YMCA in high school :) I am currently volunteering at the International Center at Purdue, teaching an English class with my dad and another volunteer. The class starts next week. I will start to be busy once I am working 4-5days a week and teaching twice a week. I feel like I am taking a step back because of my current pay and living situation with the parents. I am praying that God would make it obvious what I need to do next. I have at least 5 different ideas bouncing around in my head at once. The hardest part is being still and listening to what God wants me to hear... not even what he wants me to do. I am at a loss. I don't know how to proceed. I have done all the website searching and "recruiter-talking" I want to do. He knows.

life

There seems to be an amazing trend in life.... its called "consistent inconsistency". Yes, its also called an oxymoron. My life is riddled with it. I have decided to take a pole amongst my peeps. This is a very important question.
Do you have any suggestions for me as far as what I should do or what mission organization to check into? Please comment or email me with any thoughts. I shall await them with the greatest anticipation.
I am up for just about anything. I am currently looking for a part time/full time job while I wait on the Lord. I mostly need to spend a lot of time in prayer. But I don't want my life style to become inactive.

I cry out to the Lord! What will you have me do? I am listening... help me to listen.

The Corn Fields

my nephew Lincoln, enjoying some wicked HFCS on his first birthday!

There are many possibilities for corn. Its sad that fuel was not discovered until recently and we had to content ourselves with HFCS (high fructose corn syrup-a different and much more frightening source of fuel). I even created an anti-HFCS club of which the membership rate is skyrocketing. Actually, for a limited time only, I will be accepting new members for the incredible discount of $19.99 a month (plus tax). You will receive a free news letter in the mail and a t-shirt that reads... "Down with HFCS! My mind, body, soul and spirit are deathly allergic to the toxic syrupy madness."

Seriously, corn fields can grow as tall as 12ft and some even as much as 14ft, which are entered into local fairs. why talk about Indiana's most grown crop? because it is what i see every day. its what i drive through, wake up to, taste, feel, smell. yikes, you might say. Yes, but among the corn hides tiny little communities of friendly neighbors and small youth ministries. Churches that give a significant amount of their small budget to missions.

For some reason, my entire immediate family has chosen this spot in the corn to settle down. A couple times a week, when the corn starts to get to us we can go up to Lafayette for some culture. I have become involved in the International Student Center at Purdue and have befriended an Egyptian woman and her husband, who is studying to become a Vet. It is a gift from God, as they are expecting their first baby and need help with the language. I am excited to learn more about their culture and help my friend with English.

I was showing off my pictures to my small groupies and I realized how much i missed my church in Ukraine. These are pictures of saying goodbye at the train station. They literally walked our train out of the station, crying and waving and blowing kisses.






i was humbled by the love shown to me in such a gentle way. This next picture is my beloved Kristina. Kristina was my friend first, translator second and always ready for a good joke. I have more pictures taken by her then me, i think :) I miss you Kristinka.


Natasha was my Ukrainian Princess friend and translator for several breastfeeding classes. She was one of Pam's first clients and friends in Ukraine. I made her step out of her comfort zone a little and dance with me at a party. To get me back, she decided to smear eye liner and pink lipstick on my face in the appearance of a feline horror creature.
Ira my gentle, quiet spirit. she reminded me of myself on my shy and quiet days:) She is a very talented blooming percussionist and one of the most generous people I know. I miss my Irichka.

Babushka Lida! Our faithful grandma and cook. She made the best borsht ever! I know how to make it now, so maybe I will invite people over for some good ole Ukrainian food! She gave the best hugs! I miss our little Russlish conversations. She humbled me more then anyone. Isn't she beautiful?!

Touch Down (not the football kind)

Do you ever wonder what God's response is to our "plans"? I sometimes do, and then I think... "oh, yeah, my plans are not His... right." That's how it was traveling to the USA over a period of three days... no joke. He has a sense of humour that's for sure. Because of a delay in Kiev, Pam and I missed our flight to Atlanta from Paris and were put up in a French hotel. The hotel was not very impressive, but I rediscovered what the French spend their money and time on that is impressive, and that is their amazing French Buffets. So many fancy little starters and salads, desserts and of course accompanied with a french baguette. It was so much fun to see how God took care of us in the midst of frustrating times. (yey for French crepes and pastries!). We were able to sleep in beds instead of cramped up in two feet of airplane with a powerful neck ache all night. Fun times in Indy when our bags did not come on the same plane, but, He provided us with a free meal voucher from the airline for the trouble. Have I mentioned how much I love free stuff? He knows us better then we know ourselves. My bag was delivered to my door last night... again, complements of Delta.

So many decisions to make and pray about making in the next few months. I am praying about the next step in my life. I have my own ideas but I want them to be founded in truth, God's word, and His direction... not what I think should happen. I have been instructed by God to wait on Him so that's all I can do for now. Thanks for praying and making this Ukrainian adventure possible and thank you for your continued prayers. Let's let Jesus surprise us with His plans.

Farewell Ukraine in 2008

Praise the Lord oh my Soul! Praise the Lord and forget not his benefits! Bless His Holy name. He has and will do great things.

As I close this chapter of Ukraine 2008 I want to take the time to Praise God and thank Him for his amazing blessings during my unexpected two month gift of my trip to Ukraine.

• Praise the Lord for Safety in travel!
• Praise Him for amazing weather for 2 months
• Praise Him for Kristina, my wonderful friend, translator and personal Ukrainka guardian angel.
• Praise Him for Pam and her 7 yrs of fruitful ministry in Ukraine.
• Praise Jesus for His death on the cross for our sins.
• Praise Jesus for the hundreds of clients that have been touched by Bear Child Ministries.
• Praise Jesus for my friends that I have made that will not be forgotten.
  
• Praise Jesus for the Lena's, Ulla, Natasha, Ira, the Tonya's, Anya, Masha, and many others.
• Praise Jesus for Pastor Vitaly, Galla, Luda, Babushka Lida, Oksana, Ira Palashova, Dema, Alec and many others in the leadership of Calvary Chapel of Dnepro.
• Praise Jesus for giving me the ability to learn some Russian.
  
• Praise the Lord for humbling my heart.
  
• Praise Him for "Fresh from the Market" fruits and veggies.
  
• Praise Him for a place/park to run.
  
• Praise Him for cheap and wonderful organic products including lotion and shampoo.
• Praise Him for the ladies I shared breastfeeding knowledge with and their willingness to learn.
• Praise Him for the new babies born to clients.
• Praise Him for the people who helped Pam and I move.
• Praise Him for the conference in Hungary and what He taught me about my pride.
• Praise the Lord for keeping me and Pam healthy.
• Praise Him for the nurses who take care of the babies at the baby hospital.
  
• Praise the Lord for those babies.
• Praise Him for Artyom and Demitri
• Praise Him for providing for all our needs physically, emotionally and spiritually.
• Praise the Lord for everyone who reads this far down and has been praying for me! That would be You! I am so thankful for all of you and excited to tell you more of how your prayers have changed me and hopefully a few other lives as well.. for the better! I love you all! Dasvadania!
  

Its the People Part 2

I find it strange that I feel more at home amidst randomness then in the neat and tidy life of the typical American. I don't know where God is calling me,(as far as the next mission field experience is concerned), but I do know it will be in a "Random" culture full of fun loving people. Kristina, Lena, and I are posing by the Dnepro River. Lena and Kristina have been a great encouragment to me. Lena's sweet spirit is very affectionate and Kristina is always ready for a tease.

Last week the girls took me to the island to experience the Ukrainian "beach scene". On the way we passed by a Karaoke booth and the girls pursuaded me to sing "Yesturday" by the Beetles. Julia also sang some silly Russian song (see picture below).




Julia (pronounced "Ulia") is one of my favorate people in Ukriane. She has boundless energy and makes it her mission in life to better my Russian and guitar skills. She makes me say the words perfectly and play the chords just the right way. I am grateful for her encouragement because it shows how much she cares. Today is her 20th birthday! Happy Birthday to Ulia. I forgot it was also America's birthday until later this morning.

Below is a video I took by the river that day. They are traditional Dance Fighters. Its like an art form but its competitive and entertaining at once. They never actually touch each other. i have yet to figure it out, but they sure are flexible.

Last week in Ukraine!

As I think back on the last two months, all I can feel is overwhelmed by how fast its gone! When you get into the swing of things, ride on transport without a problem, know the city well enough to get around, be able to communicate through a combo of Russlish and charades, it just seems strange to leave. I know my time here was ordained by God for a specific length. I don't question His sovereignty in leaving in July. I feel as if I have learned more about myself in the last two months then in the past few years of my life. I am much more self absorbed then I ever deemed possible, and I have only to be faithful to Jesus, and the rest will come. Doesn't that just sum up life in general?

This next week will be hectic. Yesterday, we said good bye to many clients that the center has served over the last four years. Wednesday will be another hard day of open house with open tears for Pam and many mommies who have been loved through this ministry. Today we will visit Artyom for the last time and deliver a gift of diapers to the hospital that cares for him. Thursday will be our last visit to the baby hospital where Calvary Chapel has had a servant ministry for the past seven years. We are in a continuous state of getting rid of things. Wednesday night and Friday night will be birthday parties for dear friends, Sveta and Ulia. Saturday, the ladies of the church are throwing a party for Pam and I, and Sunday will be another day of goodbyes. Too many goodbyes, but such amazingly sweet people.

• Pray that we can smoothly transition and clear out the apartment in a week.
  
• Pray for Pam as she leaves her home of seven years.
  
• Pray for mommies and daddies who love Jesus for Artyom and Demitri.
• Pray for me as I look for a job and transition back to life State side.
  

Its the pleople that make a place.

How many times do we hear that phrase "Its the people that make or break a place", or "Its the people that make it home." Its true. This precious woman above in the pink apron is my Babushka Lida. Her gift is domestic love. She cooks for Pam and I Monday and Wednesday. She is very precise and makes perfect borscht, plove (a rice, carrot, onion and meat dish that is awesome... lots of spices), and verenikie (little dumplings with veggies or fruit stuffed inside). I decided I wanted to glean from her vast field of knowledge and she graciously put up with me making the verenikie wrong :) She is now my adopted grandma and she gives the best hugs. I can't really communicate well with her since my Russian is almost as limited as her English but some how, body language of a few hugs and hand squeezes communicates volumes.

The Pride in Me.

This is an excerpt from my prayer journal. It is one of the most significant lessons I have learned.

Dear Jesus,

I have been listening to a lot of missionary vocab recently. The most prevelant word in this unique and sometimes cheesy language is "calling". "My calling is to orphans in Russia, or "I feel God calling me to Lithuainia." Is this "call" really biblical? Did Paul, Peter, James, John, etc feel called to go where ever they went? They obeyed your voice Jesus. Maybe this word is used so many times that it has lost its meaning. What if I don't "feel" called anywhere but go where I am needed, which could be anywhere? So to obey is better then sacrifice, or to put it another way, "to obey is better then religious acts. (end quote)
So to obey you i will go home to my family. I feel like you are calling me to minister to my family for a time in person. my pride tells me i am 25 and need to be "further along in life" then this. how the world measures success is not how Jesus measures it. I need a ministry, a "calling", a job, SOMETHING TO KEEP ME BUSY! But in my business i miss out what He is teaching me.

I met this girl at the conference named Beth. She has moved home twice since college and God has taught her through it. She is not a dependent of her parents and a leech but a women who obeyed God's voice. It gave her the freedom to hear from God in a unique way and minister to her family. She is now going into full time ministry overseas.
I take my family for granted. I am not a home body but I am very close with my family. I want to be where God wants me to be, not where I am conquering the jungles of Indonesia in order to be recognized and seen as great. Hard lesson to learn. I needed it.

I love my Ukrianians

350-400 people, teachings and worship time every morning, afternoon and evening, bread and cheese sandwiches for breakfast, swimming in the pool, eating mulberries and Hungarian ice cream. These things might describe my time at the Calvary Chapel Foundations Conference in Vajta, Hungary as some of the major activities. Or, the people to your left from Kiev, Ukraine might describe my favorite, and some of the most influential moments in my life are with the people I meet and interact with. I did not know these girls before I came. I had never attended their church in the capital city of Kiev. That didn't seem to matter at all. These girls enveloped me into their worlds the moment I met them. I spent hours singing and worshiping Jesus with them. Lube( the one next to me) plays the saxophone, guitar and sings beautifully. We didn't speak eachother's languages very well but Jesus gave us a connection of prayer and music. Tasha( in pink) wanted to learn how to dive, so I spent time teaching her with our mixed Russian/English phrases. She loved to tease and love on me ( especially while she was sopping wet and i was dry). Oksana (right, white shirt) loves to serve others and asked me how to plan a menu for a vacation trip to the Black Sea. The Ukrainian people love to have fun and include everyone in their fun. They also love Jesus and want to make sure you do too. I was immensly humbled once again by these amazing people. They are beautiful and made in the image of God just as I am. I have learned what warm love and acceptance is through my relationships with Ukrainians.

Family of Jesus

There is an old song that I used to sing at Emmanuel that goes.."I'm so glad I'm a part of the family of God. I've been washed in the fountain, cleansed by His blood. Joint heirs with Jesus as we travel this sod. I'm a part of the family, the family of God." I have begun to realize just how big that family is as I meet and make friends with the Ukrainian believers here at Calvary Chapel of Dnepropetrovsk. I was humbled for the millionth time this month, when I asked a group of girls about how they felt about the level of love and accountability in their church. They just looked at me and answered, "Calvary Chapel is a family. We know we can count on them to help us and pray with us whenever we need it." They were confused and surprised that I even had to ask. I asked about the Ukrainian culture and if the people would ask for help, counsel and prayer in time of need. We in the U.S. often feel like we are stepping on toes and that our beloved friends don't have the time for our problems/joys/fears. It is a lie from the enemy. "Two are better then one. If one falls down, his friend can help him up". and, "a cord of three strands is not easily broken". The American Church needs to start taking a stand for itself during the minutes and seconds of the week. We need to pray together, cry together and rejoice together. Thats how the world will know that Jesus is in us.

Bobbing Demitri

This is Bouncy little Demitri. Actually, that is the name that i gave him. The staff at the baby hospital/orphanage do not know what his name is. He was found on the street alone, while his father was passed out drunk. When I first saw him last Thursday he was unsmiling and emotionless. This week, he was beaming when he saw Kristina and I entering the room. After I bathe him and change his diaper I take him over to the window so he can see the trees and people outside. His favorite activity is bouncing on the window sill. He gives my forearms a work out. The children are stuck in cribs all day so he has so much pent up energy to wiggle out.

To better understand my ministry here let me give you a layout of my week.
Monday/Wednesday: Material support: clients of Bear child ministry can come and take a few baby items/clothes/diapers. They "earn" these items by participating in certain classes, going to church, working/husband working, doing article summaries, etc. We get a chance to talk with each mom as she looks through the clothing. We pray for with them and ask about their needs.
Tuesday: Reserved for visiting the baby hospital that Artyom, an abandoned baby is living. See the last baby post titled "artyom" for more details. He needs a mommy and a daddy. Any takers?
Thursday: Material support and visiting a different baby hospital Demitri's home) on the other side of the river. We wash and love on the babies. The nurses are used to us coming regularly as they have been receiving people from Calvary Chapel Dnepro for seven years now.
Friday: A day off but filled with traveling or catch up work recently. Today we went to the Zorka/central market. I love open air markets, so much activity and beautifully priced fresh items.
Saturday/Sunday: ministry, church and for the past few weeks childbirth and breastfeeding classes. i do get a chance to read and relax, which i take advantage of regularly. The church is having an outreach on Saturday for the TB Sanitarium kids. This will involve games, crafts, bible story, and just playing with the kids.

Always learning

I had to laugh at myself. Here I was in a grocery store looking like a first grader trying to make out the words on the bottle. I think its shampoo. I sound out the letters of the Cyrillic characters to myself.. shampoov.. something like that. I look for conditioner by comparing other bottles of Head and Shoulders, Dove, etc, hoping against hope not to buy gel or lotion. I finally find something that doesn't have the same word as shampoo on it and place it in my basket. Next i need to find some mouse for my hair. I look at the section of what appears to be hair sprays and gels, i hope its not shaving cream. Slavabog (praise God) for pictures and some English words that got the point across on this one bottle of what i still hope is mouse.

I have more and more experiences like this due to my exploratory nature and desire to learn on my own. I still cling to a translator or help of some kind and can be rather shy in saying using some Russian, but God does give me a spirit of learning and humility when i need it the most.

I am realizing more and more that my plans are not always His. I had meant to stay in Ukraine until August 12th but circumstances and the Lord has called me back sooner. Bear Child Ministries is closing in July and Pam will be leaving Ukraine in July as well. I came to be a servant to Bear Child Ministries and to Pam so I will leave with Pam as she travels back. It has been a hard decision as I could potentially stay until August with a friend or live in another city and house sit for a family. But my motivations would be out of pride and wanting to survive on my own and prove i can do it. i don't know what I will do when i go back to Waynetown/Crawfordsville, Indiana. I am terrified of inactivity and not knowing what the next step will be.

Pray that i would surrender my fear to Jesus. He knows the plans he has for me and they are awesome!

Humility

I traveled to a city called Harkov this past weekend to teach breastfeeding to what I thought would be about 6 clients and several volunteers and the center's staff. Jesus had other things in mind. In the end most of the pregnant clients were hospitalized that week for various reasons and so only one client with a five month old baby came along with 2 staff and the director.

These changes were all for the best as I was able to observe these women and here them pour out there heart of love for their clients and desire to serve them. | was humbled immensely by the way they treated me. They saw me as a professional who came to share my knowledge about breastfeeding with them and how to counsel their clients accordingly. They treated me w/ such respect I can't even explain how humbled I felt. I was able to give them bf materials in Russian that they can use to teach their bf class. This center is also sponsored by a church in America, however, this church is giving them less support in order for them to try to obtain the support/sponsorship themselves in Ukraine. It is very difficult for Ukrainians to support themselves and a charitable center at the same time due to the economy and the lack of resources. Pray for Ukrainians to step up to the plate. They are also exploring business and ministry possibilities.

I learned that breastfeeding is not really explained or taught in their medical/nursing schools either. It is so amazing to me how cultures are so different yet similar.

No fear in love

There are somethings that are very difficult living in a foreign country. those things exist because everything is foreign. But i praise Jesus for the gifts of familiarity he gives me, like peanut butter and peonies. The terrain here is roughly the same as the Midwest..., farms outside the city. Rolling hills with the blackest earth i have ever seen encompass the country side. I am told that in July, the fields will be covered in sunflowers and golden wheat.

On Tuesday Pam and i went to visit a sweet babushka named Vola and her mother. she has a large fenced in garden with gorgeous peonies, climbing roses, strawberries, tomatoes, current bushes etc.

This picture was taken tonight of my Dnepro bf class. They have good questions. It is expected to bf here but they have fears and concerns just like everyone else, especially when it comes to eating foods and giving the baby allergies. I was able to share about fear and the fact that there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. (1 John 4: 18). Its becoming more natural for me to talk about something that I am passionate about like breastfeeding and include truths from God's word. It is important for our motivation for our actions to be out of love and faith, not fear. Not eating any fruits after deliver for fear of giving the baby allergies is wrong. Being careful to avoid too much caffeine out of love for our baby is wisdom.

I travel to Harkov tomorrow with my friend and translator Kristina to teach another breastfeeding class. This will be my 4th class in two weeks. I am loving it.

This is the group Pam and I tought in Poltava. 2-3hrs of childbirth and 2hrs of breastfeeding. i call that a crash course. We gave little gift bags to the pregnant mommies w/ botties, sleepers, socks, onsies etc. They had a lot of good questions that reflected their superstition and fears in their culture. it is amazing to me how a culture can be run on fear and inferiority. many of the poorer people here expect to be treated badly b/c that is just the way it is, they are poor so they are inferior. i just wanted to poor out the love of Jesus on them and say, "Stop being so freaked out about everything!". God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and a sound mind. i am excited to see what happens next in this unexpected gift. keep praying for these mommies.

The Joy of the Lord is my Strength

today is a good day to praise the Lord. I traveled to a city 5 hrs away (by bus.. really only 2-3hrs by car) on friday to teach a crash course on bf(breastfeeding) at a local crisis pregnancy center (cpc). Poltava is a smaller city then Dnepro, and has some beautiful hills and country side. We stayed in one of the center's volunteer's house in the country. They had a 5 yr old son named Teress who reminded me so much of my nephew Gabe. He was silly and kept eating all our food and giving us these little berries that looked like shriveled up blueberries. He kept saying.. in Russian. "Speak normally, i don't understand English." How i wished it was that simple. i don't know who is praying for me, but i feel like Jesus has given me extra measures of unexplained joy just about being here and I feel like someone is praying specifically for that. if its you, thanks sooo much. The joy of the Lord has literally become my strength as i have renewed energy to perform the good works He has prepared in advance for me to do. more pictures to come..

marshutka

Today i finally feel like i'm getting back to normal... yeah i know.. as crazy as ever. i only dosed off for a few minutes while preparing for my breastfeeding class on saturday. i graduated from puppy dog to trained homing pigeon as i was let loose to ride the bus/marshutka/public trans, all the way from the center to my apartment in a differant part of town... all by myself. i know where to get off and what to say to get off, but everyone was soo worried about me, it was nice to know i'm loved. i got to peruse through the open air second hand clothing market today. they have really nice stuff from western europe. i am going to come home, a fashionable woman and no one will recognize this classy chic ( stop laughing mi familia).

Tonya (a volunteer) and i went to another baby hospital and washed and clothed the babies. They are precious. anyone up for adopting? i will send pictures... ok, well let me know. love love

Artyom

this is Arytom. he is roughly 7months old and just so cute. he just woke up from his nap in this picture. he is currently one of the many institutionalized babies in this country. When his documents are complete he will be ready to be adopted by some really "blessed to be a blessing" couple. We visited him yesterday, traveling a total of 3hrs both ways to see him for 20 min. God's creations are worth it. His mother was one of Bear child's clients who decided he wasn't worth the transport money it cost to see him while he was sick and hospitalized a month or two ago. He was abandoned like so many babies like him. Jesus has a plan for his life, as well as for the tiny little HIV infants and FAS babies that are also in this room. Pray for families for these babies, the unwanted of Dnepropetrovsk. They are loved immeasurably by our Savior.

breastfeeding class

so, working through a translator i successfully completed my first bf class. it was trial and error but in a nice and small intimate setting w/ only two clients. I will be traveling w/ Natasha (friend and translator) and Pam to a city about 6hrs away to teach a two hr breastfeeding class. There is a lot packed into these sessions and working w/ babydolls and pillows gets a lot of laughs. this room is my bedroom by the way. we just moved my mattress into it yesturday. this little girl in pink's name is Anya and she insisted on giving pam and i a kiss when she left, sooo precious.

5 Days

Today marks the 5th day of living life in Ukraine. It has been a whirlwind of activity, jet lag, travel, and more public transportation then i have ever partisipated in all in less then a week. I happily recieved my luggage from a very hurried delivery man who jabbered on in Russian about some form he had for me to sign. i don't think anything was missing from my luggage but if there is something gone, i'm sure i didn't need it anyway.

Saturday, i helped pam w/ her childbirth class. i was able to use that deep breathing all my voice lessons pounded into me to teach pain relieving breathing... i know I'm so experienced:)

Sunday i went to church and met many people. one of them was a collage student named Lena, who immediately took me under her wing. she knows a little English but not enough to spoil me so we are trading words back and forth. she is very patient w/ this ridiculous, overstimulated, and jet lagged woman. I have a feeling that several of the girls i have met here will help make this time in Ukraine memorable and such a great learning experience. i went on a walk w/ pam on Sunday and decided, spur of the moment to attend an Ukrainian Orthodox service. i covertly took a video of part of it. a lot of chanting, bowing and crossing yourself, lighting candles of prayer, and standing in a gaudy building. It is so hard for me to understand the attraction or bondage to that kind of religion b/c i have so much freedom in Christ. Pray for these people. i will try to capture more of the culture as i can.

luggage receipt? What, i need that?

The beginnging of my journey to Ukraine, i lost/ misplaced an important receipt i needed in order for my suitcase to arrive in kiev w/ me. Well no one told me Air France (pronounced w/ a snooty french accent) needed this reciept thingy(which i found convienently in my purse 30 min after i needed it). ha ha ha. well, blessing in desguise. the airport is delivering the luggage to my door in Dnepro and i didn't have to lug it around kiev, yey! after more time sitting then i ever care to do again, i can now sympathize w/ my pregnant clients w/ the swollen ankles. i would love to put a picture on here, but i only have one so far and its of a very tired pam and bethany on a long train ride. i have discovered that i need to learn to shop at the market in order to get things cheap. i need to develop my haggeling vocab. don' t even have a basic vocab yet. Praise Jesus for Pam, a bed and safe travel w/o my heavy suitcase. love you all.

count down days

Counting down to three days before take off. I am excited, but i think its starting to hit me, as nervousness is creeping in. Lauren Hanna, my beautiful roomie is now Lauren Sterrett and it was a wonderful wedding. God is so clever how He thought up something so ingenious as marriage to symbolize His relationship w/ us. I had to participate in the quaint tradition of catching the bouquet, so i figured i mind as well win. so, watch for wedding invites in the mail, j/k. I am so tired, i don't think it will be hard to sleep on the plane. I haven't had a chance to cry about moving, Ukraine, the recent hitch'n, etc. so i am expecting it at any minute. i have so many things to do and pack up before i go, i don't even want to think about it. that's how i deal w/ things, i don't. Please keep the move and travels in your prayers as i avoid prep time like the plague. i praise the Lord for your love, support and prayers. Please comment and let me know how i can be praying for you. 3, 2, 1, ... blast off.

this is a videa of all my meager possetions inside my car. i got rid of a ton of stuff. i love being a minimalist. its great. today i moved from my home of six and a half years, in Muncie Indiana, to Waynetown Indiana where my parents have a Christmas tree farm. its pretty here. very peaceful. i am awaiting the next seven days to pass w/o mishap so i can fly away to Ukraine for three mon. I leave May 14th at 12:20pm. Pray!

Moses Glory

I just spent five days in the Bahamas visiting a friend and relaxing. I got to witness one of the most powerful examples of Gods glory in creation, a sunrise over the ocean. it looks like a glimps into heaven doesn't it? It must have been what moses felt like when allowed to witness God Almighty's glory with his back to Him. It must have still blinded his eyes even from the back and caused him to stagger and fall to his knees. It was one of the most amazing worship experiances i have ever had! if He can do things like this, surely He can guide us through the rest of our time here on earth. Today is the National Day of Prayer and it starts the National Prayer week. Be in prayer for His Kingdom to come and for the enemies kingdom to falter and fail. Prayer for the church's in division, and sin. Pray for Spiritual allertness in this country. For Jesus to be worshiped and proclaimed as Lord!

prayer for life

its been two weeks and i feel like there is so much to do and think about. i have been laid up w/ some sort of bug for the past day and a half and its about to drive me insane. i am supposed to go up to Michigan to Strickland Baptist Church to talk about Jesus and Ukraine, but my body is revolting against most signs of health. I have been forced to rest and as usual, i really don't like it. i try to be productive while i'm sick and it doesn't work. i have taken up the habit of praying as much as possible when i'm sick because that is the only way to use my time wisely and productively.
" Jesus, i pray for your church here in America. I pray that something would happen to wake us up to the need all around us. Open our eyes to hell and our family and friends who will be there if they don't recognize their need for redemption. Jesus, we need you!" Jesus be w/ our persecuted brothers and sisters, give them hope. Jesus, be our hope.

News from the East

Dear Friends and Family,
I have attached an update on more ministry changes and challenges. Please, know that I will keep you updated on clients, staff, prayer requests and answers to prayers.
Love and hugs from Dnipro,Pam

Pam NelsonBear Child Ministriesc/o Horizon Christian FellowshipPO Box 3367 Bloomington, IN 47402

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Dear Friends and Family, We are thanking God for the measure of faith that He has given to us these past few weeks to face the changes and challenges of ministry transition. The Crisis Pregnancy Center of Dnipropetrovsk will come to its end July 2008. We are saddened and disappointed for it was our hope to see nationals continue the work. With much clarity and confirmation from God, I made the decision to relinquish Bear Child Ministries unto the Lord.

After much prayer, fasting, seeking God in His word and council I began to see clearly that this was the path to follow. My breaking heart chose to mourn and grieve for three days. The first day, in a fetal position, I wept like a baby; thought about tearing my clothes and shaving my head…YIKES!! The second day, I only cried twice, got angry and didn’t answer the phone. The third day, I got teary eyed once and was filled with peace that passes understanding and fell to the ground and worshipped God. Here’s the word from God that day…“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return there. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away;Blessed be the name of the LORD!” Job 1:20 Please, know that I would love to sit over coffee with each of you and share the intimate details of my decision. Therefore, for those who want know, please ask and I will gladly reply.

When the time came for Jesus to enter into glory, He shared with his disciples this truth from John 12:24 “… a kernel of wheat must be planted in the soil. Unless it dies it will be alone—a single seed. But its death will produce many new kernels—a plentiful harvest of new lives.”

This truth from God’s word is a great encouragement for me. It is my hope and prayer that you also will be encouraged and reminded of the many hundreds and hundreds of seeds that you have helped plant in Ukrainian’s lives. Thank you with my heart and soul for every eternal investment of your time, talents, prayers, finances, emails, cards, calls and visits these past seven-years. One more scripture that the LORD spoke to me is from Joshua 23:14...“You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises the LORD your God gave you has failed. Every promise has been fulfilled”. Please, know that every promise concerning the Crisis Pregnancy Center of Dnipropetrovsk and Bear Child Ministries has been fulfilled. What now? We will continue to meet with clients to provide all of our current services through July. As we come closer to this time, we will spend the last couple of weeks traveling to other CPC’s throughout Ukraine to distribute/donate baby clothing, literature, teaching aides, visuals and supplies. Pray and Praise:For Natasha and Christina to find good jobs, transitionFor Bethany--arrives May 15th to teach Breast Feeding, serve and transition me back to USA.For clients to trust Jesus, For my Pastor Mike and his family’s transition back to the US……….he gave his pastoral blessing to Vitaly Perigov last Sunday. Vitaly is now the Pastor of Calvary Chapel of Dnipropetrovsk.For VitalyFor the CC body to accept, support and submit to Vitaly has their Sheperd. Last but not least……… please, would you prayerfully consider continuing your financial support for me through the end of 2008? And/or pass your support onto the local church (Calvary Chapel of Dnepropetrovsk) who has been such a huge support of our CPC and will continue with outreaches to the TB Sanitarium and Orphanage. And/or support one of the other CPC’s in Ukraine. And/or find a local CPC in your area to sponsor. You have touched my life in ways that I will treasure forever,

Thank you. I love you,Pam

Redemption

When life happens, it throws us for a loop. I just was recently informed by my good friend Pam Nelson, that Bear Child Ministries, the crisis pregnancy center in Dnepropetrovsk, Ukraine, will not continue after Pam returns w/ me in August. The original plan was for me to be a part of transition to national leadership, but due to many circumstances beyond anyone's control and the Hand of Jesus, it will be phasing out this summer. I write this w/ extreme sadness and disappointment. i knew this was a possibility but i kept hanging on to hope of funding, resources, personnel....etc. Pam is heart broken, I am heart broken but i will still travel on to be a vital part of the transitional end. In breastfeeding education, sharing the love of the gospel, and packing up and being an encouragement, Jesus will redeem the ending of a loving ministry to Ukrainian Women and babies in my heart. If anyone wishes to have their gift returned or redistributed according to need i understand and will gladly return the gift. i value all of you highly and don't know what i would do w/o you.

This is my family. Although they may not look like much (ha ha, j/k), they mean the world to me. They have supported me through this whole process and will continue to give me their love and encouragment no matter where I go.

From top to bottom, left to right. Isaac (oldest brother/sibling-pastor, friend, wise man) Aaron, (my lil bro, former marine, tough guy w/ a soft heart, and very smart w/ his brains and hands) Baby Lincoln (youngest nephew and a cutie-petutie 8mon). Julie, (married to Isaac, gave birth to 4 amazing children, and a world class mom and good friend). Gabe (6 yrs old nephew, crazy kook). Sarah (lil sis 14 yrs old, loves art). Mireil ( 4 yr old neice, girly girl). Me ( crazy as ever), Crystal (married to Aaron, loves dogs adn cats and i love her too), my mom Cindy ( loves gardending and driving me crazy in the kitchen w/ constant dishes ). Adaline ( 2 yr old neice, loves tea parties), my dad pete (loves burning and trimming things and farming). Anna (19 yr old sis. loves people and spanish.)

Artyom

this is a little exerpt from "A day in the life of a CPC". Many women like Lisya come to the center for help w/ the basics like hygeine practices and clean clothes for the baby. Please pray that both Artyom would be healed and that Lisya would find Jesus.


Please, pray for Lisya's baby, Artyom.
She came a few hours ago to let us know that the ambulance took him to the hospital last night. He had a very high fever and still does. He is very weak and sounds dehydrated. Lisya will stay with him. She is very afraid and nervous. We gave her anti-bacteria wipes to use on her hands while she is there caring for him. Along, with new topichki (slippers), soaps, lotions, shampoo, etc., transport money to go back and forth with and a Bible.
We tried to stress that she must have clean hands and keep him clean........and that the hospital staff could be very rough on her if they see dirt caked under her fingernails. With tender care and great sensitivity, Natasha demonstrated how to take the wipe and clean under her nails.
Please, pray that Lisya will not be attacked by Doctors and nurses. Pray for Artyom-chik (endearment) to drink, to rest, for healing, for protection. For Lisya's interaction with other mommies that share the same room.
Thank you for praying with us. We are poured out and exhausted friends,
May we never grow weary of doing good.

Change is good.

Jesus has given me a promise. "Something will change for you this year." Well He always keeps his promises. I will be leaving for Ukraine in May and not returning to Muncie. My time there is complete. I have learned so much and grown to love my fellow munci-ites, but I have been told to move on with steady surety and amazing clarity. When i do return i will probably chill with my parents for a little bit, not sure how long. It will drive me insane to not have constant business at first. Please pray for me. I will be looking into missions orgs like OM, YWAM, Pioneers etc. I need and covet your prayers for direction.

Believe it or not

I am continually amazed by the generosity of my "pray'n peeps", both in their time and resources. I received a gift the other day from one of my friend's parents! how crazy is that? I keep asking Jesus to let me know if i am not supposed to go to Ukraine and He keeps telling me to "chill out" and go. I don't ask because i doubt, it is just so unbelievable to me... still... how He has called me for this short time. I have been having dreams recently that have nothing to do w/ Ukraine but have been extremely vivid and mostly about pregnancy. strange i know. I wonder how much of my dreams are real and "alive" so to speak, and how much is just my warped imagination. If you have any incites, please let me know!

So, its done. I purchased my tickets and the count down can start. I will be leaving Indiana on May 14th and returning.... well, i think i will keep that a secret for now. I have plans but I don't know if they are always exactly what His plans are. the girl standing over me is Kristina. she is one of the amazing women that make the CPC run well. she likes to sing and play guitar just like me. she is a student right now w/ a wonderfully compationate heart.

Introducing Pam Nelson

Dear Friends and Family,
We are seeing accelerated changes in Ukraine and in ministry. For many, it’s an exciting time, for others they just seem to endure life as political unfairness and social ugliness usher in a generation of "New Ukrainians." How then are we to respond to the challenges of those who have no hope for "things to get better"—for them?
"Always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that our toil is not in vain in the Lord"
(1 Corinthians15: 58)
When Natasha delivered Karina nearly seven years ago, her government provision each month at that time was 20 grvn. ($4) for the first few months and then went to 40 grvn ($8) until her child was three year old. Now the government says, "You will receive 50 thousand grievna ($10,000 for a third child), the second child, 16 thousand grvn ($3,200), and the first child, 8 thousand grvn. ($1,600). Can you imagine what that sounds like to most Ukrainians; who still have incomes that are barely enough to provide for the most basic needs of their family? Sadly, several of our CPC client’s are being motivated by this potential income. They have even said, "They will pay me to have another baby." We are glad for changes that encourage mommies to choose life and keep their babies out of the baby houses and orphanages. However, I am deeply concerned by false incentives that lure our precious mommies to "get pregnant" to "get paid". We hope and pray that families of Ukraine are not deceived by provisional promises for pregnancy as a means to acquire a better life, but will see every pregnancy as an entrusted gift from Jehovah-Jireh.
Our weekly outreach to the infant/baby hospital for orphans is changing. We are glad and thank God for fewer babies, but sad for us because we miss being with them. The reason for fewer babies is uncertain. Let us hope that it is the result of more adoptions and fewer unplanned pregnancies and abandonment, and not an increase of infant sacrifice. Because of more and more big budget, international charitable sponsorship conditions have improved for this hospital, as well as for many of the nation’s orphanages and sanitariums. There are hot water heaters, new cribs and sinks, fresh paint, flooring, windows, furniture, linens, pampers and newer up-to-date equipment. It’s clear to us that our contribution each week of a few diapers and a bag or two of baby clothing, is no longer seen as meeting a need and therefore, doors could soon close for us. Since Ukraine’s popularity for charitable need has exploded; orphanages, baby houses, TB sanitariums and invalid homes are being saturated by sponsorship… PTL. Sadly, the administrators of these organizations can pick and choose whose aid they want to receive. For some simply will not be bothered with minimal donations or people who just want to love, serve and/or give of them selves to these little ones. Our Bear Child staff and CPC volunteers will continue to serve regularly at the orphan baby hospital, and share Jesus with the few babies, the nurses, administrators and care givers that we have built relationships with over the years, for as long as they will have us. They continue to embrace us each week with smiles and hugs saying, "We were waiting for you."
Our Material Support program continues to provide clients with clothing, diapers, coats, shoes, crèmes, infant food and formula, small toys, client transportation and money for medicines and vitamins. This week we received 80 kilos of much needed children’s clothing, toys and other supplies from Scottish Soccer Fans. The Scots visited our CPC last month and shopped for diapers, wipes, crèmes, baby food and formula. Their last shipment of clothing, a few weeks ago was held by customs in a rat infested warehouse long enough for holes to be eaten in many pieces of the clothing. It took several long visits, a ton of paper work, endless phone calls, back and forth to this and that office, before the "old soviet" way of doing things was satisfied. Yet, Governmental procedures and processes are changing rapidly day to day, sometimes moment to moment, causing these timely delays and frustrations, on our part and for the state worker.
Second Hand stores are popping up all over the city, and as recent as one year ago there was only one or two. We are thankful, that a few of our clients are now able to buy affordable used clothing, but still see a need to come to us for diapers and Jesus. However, with the ever increasing cost of monthly utilities many are concerned that their slow to increase, incomes will go towards the higher cost of living.
Last month my pastor and friend, Mike Pratt shared the good news that he and his family will leave Ukraine in May to return to America. Mike and Michelle Pratt and their family have served in Dnipro since 2000. Mike will hand the church over to Vitaly Perigov, a Ukrainian. Vitaly will begin to shepherd the flock as Pastor of Calvary of Dnepropetrovsk in March. Others from our team of missionaries have already gone; Diana Faulk left in September 2006 (IN), Wes and Wendy Hoff left the first of December (IN), Shane and Shenya Fitzgerald said their good-byes last week (NM).
I will follow their examples and my Shepherd’s lead and return to the land of my father, to my own country to provide a presence for my family. My mission to Ukraine began seven-years ago when I came to serve along side the Pratt Family, as they did a church plant. Please, know that there are waves of emotion as I prepare for the completion of my time in Ukraine. It is a hard thing for me to let go of my Ukrainian "babies".
There is still a work to be done, a mission to fulfill before I leave sometime late summer or early fall. I am grateful for answered prayer for more laborers; Bethany Zull will serve for a three month internship this May to help with our CPC transition. Please, know that I am certain of God’s timing to turn things over to nationals. However, details are still unclear as to what direction our CPC and staff are to turn. You can anticipate with us to hear clearly more details in future updates as they are revealed by God. Decision making has been a straight and narrow hard place for me. Like Moses, I’ve been hidden by God in the cleft of a rock, weeping with emotion, fearful and a few sleepless nights, as His glory passes by.
Please, know how much I love you all for never ceasing to pray for us. More than ever, I covet your prayers for the many faith challenges and changes coming to us all in 2008. Thank you with my whole heart for always abounding in your love, financial support and prayers for me and us in Ukraine.
Christina, Natasha, and Pamela—CPC staff
Forever in His love,
Pamela

thanks

Thanks to all of you who pray for me, for the world. As i sit here on my bed in my sick, dizzy state, my body is crying out for more rest. It will get it, but not just yet. I have been blown away by the generosity of believers toward me both prayerfully and monetarily. I have been receiving checks in the mail toward my trip that i certainly did not earn, they humble me. Jesus, thanks for humbling me. I realize that more and more, this Ukraine thing was not my idea. It was Jesus'. I will be there from may-sept. I will return w/ Pam Nelson, my Ukrainian mommy. We need prayer for the Transition of the CPC towards Ukrainian leadership. I have about 40% of what i need raised! Yey! thats my update. Praise Jesus with me!

To Pray

A time to pray is always, always now! I was just recently looking at The Voice of the Martyrs prayer map. On it the world was colored according to hostle locations (red), and restricted regions (yellow). Jesus has just recently given me a glimps into His heart for a dying world. Its heart-renching. Prayer is a discipline, but it can also be addictive. There is so many persecuted believers around the globe that live from day to day. I know i am not "ready" to go to Ukraine and proclaim His gospel. I don't think I ever will be. "When I'm weak, He makes me strong. When i'm blind He shines the light on me. Because I'll never get by, living on my own ability, but through the power of Christ in me." Casting Crowns.

Pray for a dying world, pesecuted believers, yourself.

Nikita

so many things to do and think about. This is Nikita. He is my little gypsy prince in a baby hospital in Ukraine. Pray for him.

He does'nt have a real home or parents to love him. he may still be there. this was back in August when i mt him.